


Law of Averages

by xuhei



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hate to Love, and a cute scene at the end, and shit like that because its exactly that, cute!!!!, its a college au and honestly, plus kihyun is a virgin again!!!, read it if you like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuhei/pseuds/xuhei
Summary: “Did you say that you thought I was annoying? That you wanted me to change rooms because you were jealous I had friends other than you?”“No, I told him that I thought you were cute and that you were a really nice person that I would want to go on a date with!”





	Law of Averages

**Author's Note:**

> how many fics can I write about kihyun? a question that will never be answered (:

Despite the fact your parents have brought you up to be nice to _everyone_ , you’re beginning to think that a philosophy stating _innocent until proven guilty_ is not the correct way to look ahead in life. Guilty until proven innocent, on the other hand, seems much more to your liking. As your certified best friend you could only hope for Changkyun’s guidance to be near correct.

“I’m telling you, you should fight him.” Though Changkyun _is_ laughing, since he’s a two years below you in education and doesn’t really understand what it’s like to share a room with someone from hell, you want to agree. “He’s an asshole, just punch him and get it over with. Establishing dominance is a great way to show you will make him your bitch. What’s his name again?”

You roll your eyes and pick up another marshmallow. “Yoo Kihyun.”

“Yeah… he definitely sounds like he should be _your_ bitch.”

Changkyun’s been mollycoddled his whole life by his parents. His father is rich and his mother never had a job, making them the perfect combination to spoil Changkyun silly. Fortunately he turned out to be an okay kid when you took him under your wing in high school because people were picking on him from being from _that_ side of town. Maybe you’d have left him alone if he hadn’t have punched that guy in the face who called him a _stuck up pussy_.

But either way, his parents were nicer than you’d ever have imagined. They did probably like you more than other girls Changkyun was— _ahem_ —friends with because you were taking International Economics and had the promise of a decent future. That was contrary to many of the other girls Changkyun liked over the years; he attracted one too many gold diggers for his parents liking.

Not that you were meant to know Changkyun had a crush on you or anything.

“You’re effectively saying my aim here is to make Kihyun my prison bitch,” you summarise, frowning to yourself as you _try_ to peek through your slightly ajar door to see if Kihyun is home yet. No sign of that dark haired mess yet. “I mean, I don’t disagree. I’d make him pick up the soap in prison any day. But I don’t really ever want to touch him or communicate with him. I had to get Minhyuk to ask him to move his jacket _my_ half of the couch.”

Changkyun hums. “I’ll beat him up for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“No, I want to,” Changkyun states, pushing for an answer he wants. He waits a moment before continuing. “If he starts on you then he’s effectively started on me, so you don’t have to touch him. Or I get Jooheon to scare the living shit out of him when he’s walking home from work one night.”

“You know where he works?” You question.

Changkyun scoffs. “Don’t you know me at all?”

Well, you did know Changkyun to a high degree so his point was automatically invalid. You’d been there when he failed his exams and when he got so drunk he forgot his own name, and you’d also been there when a boy decided to double cross him and Changkyun developed basically a murder plan to deal with him. So… _yeah_.

“I didn’t think you’d have had time to stalk him _yet_ , Changkyun,” you answer. Another marshmallow is placed into your mouth and you’re still keeping watch of that pitiful door. “It’s only been a week since I became aware of his existence. I still don’t even know what subject he takes.”

“Chemistry with Chemical Engineering.”

“Okay, now I know what subject he takes. But that still doesn’t mean I ever expected you to have a collective history of his life to date. Next thing you’ll be telling me—”

“—he hasn’t have a girlfriend since high school, he has two friends called Hoseok and Hyungwon, and he’s a Sagittarius. He should be a Scorpio though. He’s barely a Sagittarius.”

He definitely did seem like a Scorpio. You’d have to question Changkyun’s judgement. “When is his birthday?”

“Hold on…” Changkyun stops and there’s a flurry of paper noises. _Please_ don’t let Kihyun die over the next few days. Changkyun will definitely get the blame. “…November twenty second.”

“He’s right between Scorpio and Sagittarius, so technically he _can_ have the attributes of both.”

Changkyun doesn’t answer. You’re sure it’s because his smart ass doesn’t like being told he’s _kind of_ wrong, especially when it comes to things like research he has done into people for you. He’d even done an integral search on Minhyuk before the two of you were _allowed_ to be friends and it came in the form of a word document marked _Lee Minhyuk; Seems OK_. It’s contents weren’t as easily decoded.

_Name: Lee Minhyuk (_ _이민혁)_

_DOB: 3rd November 1993_

_Subject: Creative Writing (with English?? Maybe ?????? I’m not sure but he speaks English I heard him on the phone with some other guy)_

_From: possibly Gwangju but there’s another Lee Minhyuk. I don’t know. Ask him._

_Convictions: seems like a good kid. Hasn’t had a girlfriend before so don’t date him because he won’t be very experienced. He’s good with kids though, I saw a video from his parents of him with his baby cousins and it was cute I guess but I think it’s not a skill needed._

_Verdict: don’t date him but be friends with him. Could be a valuable asset in the future._

That was _before_ Changkyun became a wiz kid with computers. Now he could basically hack anything and it was probably you that made him actual hack things. _Speaking of_.

“What if we gain access to his Instagram and post pictures of Minhyuk in a wig and say they’re dating?” You ask.

“ _We_? I don’t want to be killed by him with an acid attack? Are you stupid!”

“He won’t kill us.”

Changkyun scoffs. “He got mad at you for leaving a glass on the side. He will skin _us_ and then throw acid onto us because he knows what acid with fully decompose us because he’s smart!”

“And we’re smart too, so he doesn’t even need to know it was us!”

Your plan would have to be put on hold – Kihyun’s turning his key in the lock but as always it’s not working because he took the broken key in an _attempt_ to be nice to you. Perhaps that’s why he overreacted to everything. Either way, you still hear a frustrated sigh that’s followed by a knock on the door to let him in since he can’t actually get in himself.

“Alright, I have to go,” you tell Changkyun, “Kihyun’s here and I have to let him in. I’ll text you later.”

“Wait!”

You roll your eyes at his overemphasised call. “Yes?”

“Can you come over tomorrow maybe? I may need help with something?” Changkyun asks. His voice seems to be a little softer and it makes you roll your eyes _again_. “Well I mean Jooheon can help me but it’s more business related so will you come over?”

“Text me when. See you.”

As fun as talking on the phone to Changkyun may be, it’s not nearly as fun as watching Kihyun’s expression change when he looks past you after you’ve opened the door. Okay, you had purposefully changed his OCD-placed objects and left a mug on the coffee table on _purpose_ , but everything else was by accident. He’s _so_ annoyed that he fails to even say hello or thank you for not leaving him outside to starve or something.

“What’s this?”

“Hey Kihyun,” you reply to yourself. You’re able to push down the smirk that’s wishing to show at the sound of his displeased voice. “I’ve had a great day, how about you?”

Kihyun, however, finds nothing _great_ about anything you’ve done. “Why is all your stuff on the floor?”

“What do you mean?” You ask him.

“What do I _mean_? Why is all your stuff on the floor over there!”

Kihyun is quite obviously pointing over at the pile of clothes you left outside your door that barely backs onto your own. He turns back to you with a glare, but then at the pillows on the floor and Minhyuk’s mess from earlier that you didn’t clear up. That was by accident though. You didn’t actually realise Minhyuk left a plate there.

“That’s my washing, Kihyun. I left it there so I knew where it was tomorrow morning.”

“And you can’t keep it in your own room?”

Kihyun makes you laugh. “No, of course not. Do you know how much room I have? You got the bigger room and I barely have space to breathe.”

“ _Please_.”

Kihyun loves to overreact. You may have only known him for a week but he didn’t shut up and every time you tried to hit back with your own hyperbolic comments he’d brush them off. You were very sure that _this_ is what living in hell is like.

“Please what, Kihyun?” You ask him. Your eyes are narrowed at him as he stands across from you with that same stupid frown. “Did you know that living with you is basically like living with Satan?”

He scoffs. “Yeah, I’m Satan. You should be happy to live with someone as great as me.”

“And you should be aware that ninety seven per cent of people live in constant fear of you and only hate you. Oh, wow, you _really_ are satan. Is it fun living such a lonely and pointless life?”

“It’s fun living a powerful life where people fall beneath me,” Kihyun says. He takes your rather hurtful words with a pinch of salt, one you weren’t willing to give him. “But thanks for calling me hot. I’ll take that to heart and remember it when you scream at me how much you hate me next time.”

There’s a scowl at the back of your throats but you never let it go. “You’ll never make me scream.”

“Give me ten minutes and I can.”

You set him up for that one, so you’ll let him have it. But really you do think that the two of you would be great friends if you both didn’t seem to get on each other’s nerves so easily. This is how it hard started. _Mess_. That was it. Kihyun hated that you were a little messy and he was so damn uptight about it that a spec of dust would have him pulley his hair out.

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll have a new roommate,” you counter, shaking your head.

“No use. I’ll do it first.”

“Will you?” You ask him.

Kihyun laughs. “Of course I will? Do you think I’ll be staying here if there’s a chance of me leaving? _Fuck that._ I’ll be gone before you can even apologise for being so rude to me the past week.”

“I won’t apologise to you,” you tell him.

“Then I won’t apologise to you.”

“Fine.”

“ _Fine_.”

And almost as quickly as he surprised you with his presence, he’s gone.

Kihyun looks himself in his room and you’re left to decide whether or not you should give into his demands to move your clothes. It would be nice if you to do so, but you also do not want to give into the shit of a boy who makes you want to scream bloody murder.

You’re feeling nice, so you bring the clothes into your room but make sure to alert kihyun to how mad you are by slamming the door just as loud as he did. Because of the paper thin walls you can hear him sigh in frustration and it brings a smile to your lips. This year is going to be _very_ fun.

Proving that he didn’t ask for a new roommate of course. You didn’t plan on doing it, but something told you Kihyun might be rude enough to do that.

❀❀❀❀

“So _this_ is (y/n),” Kihyun says.

You’re caught a little off guard, mostly because you’re working on proof reading an assignment of Minhyuk’s (one he was returning with Thai food next weekend) and barely paying attention past the sound of your music through your headphones. Unfortunately for you they weren’t noise cancelling, but that may have been a blessing right now.

Kihyun is quite blatantly pointing at you from the other side of your door. He’s got two friends with him, both looking into your room with curious eyes as if Kihyun has mentioned you _many_ times before. Hopefully he has. You hope he’s plagued with thoughts of you and he’ll finally decide that leaving you alone is the best thing to do.

“ _Oh_!” The one to his right with the blonde and blue hair—who _is_ rather attractive you may add—has a lightbulb moment as he realises who you are to Kihyun. “Hi (y/n)!”

Kihyun scowls and hits the boy’s chest. “Why are you saying hello to her?”

Now, realistically speaking, it’s as childish as it comes. Kihyun may be taking his third year in chemistry and he may be really good on the phone (not that you listened in to _all_ his calls), but his attitude sucks. You can tell by the way that the blonde-blue haired guy and the other tall guy give Kihyun the strangest of looks.

But, somehow, they _were_ friends with Kihyun so you did just have to accept that he had some good qualities in his body, _somewhere._

“Hi, I don’t know your name,” you greet, pushing your laptop to the side and walking towards the trio. Kihyun looks defensive; he must not have expected it. “Kihyun hasn’t told me. Well, Kihyun never speaks to me at all unless he’s shouting about me leaving mess somewhere but… Hi, I’m (y/n). It’s nice to meet you…”

“Hoseok.”

“Hoseok, gotcha.”

He offers a smile that strikes you as friendly, and so does the tall guy who’s with them when you turn to face him. You don’t need to prompt him for a name, either. “I’m Hyungwon. It’s nice to meet Kihyun’s roommate.”

“Yeah, my roommate from _hell_ ,” Kihyun states, rolling his eyes as he scoffs rather loudly. “She’s acting nice so you think I’m lying about her. Trust me.”

“Would you like some tea or coffee, Hoseok and Hyungwon?”

Ignoring Kihyun’s rather stupid words is probably the best thing to do. You may be petty but only in the right circumstances and Kihyun is _not_ worth your time. He must realise that you’re about four thousand times smarter than him too, because he falls for it when you try to make him overreact. What a _dickhead._

“I’m fine thanks,” Hyungwon says. He takes a look at Kihyun whose red cheeks cause you to laugh on the inside. Making him angry is more fun than anything before. “Kihyun, Hoseok and I were actually gonna go to the library but Kihyun left his phone here and wanted to come and get it.”

Kihyun doesn’t look like _the_ most forgetful person in the world, but it seems like a valid story. Hyungwon and Hoseok both seem trustworthy enough on first glance not to come up with some bogus story just to piss you off. Unless… Kihyun did make you out to be _that_ bad of a person.

Regardless of the possibility that they were lying, Hyungwon sends Kihyun off to his room to get his phone (you assume) leaving you alone with the two boys peering into your room and making many assessments of you.

“So, you’re the roommate from _hell_?” Hoseok asks, cocking his head to the side.

“I’d like to think that I’m not,” you answer honestly. You’re not really sure if he’s expecting you to start a whole conversation so you stay sat on your bed, ready to grab your laptop and be disinterested once more. “I called kihyun Satan last week so, I think _he_ is.”

Hyungwon hums. “He lived with me last year. I know what he can be like, so I think you’re right.”

“Kihyun isn’t _that_ bad,” Hoseok defends.

“He got mad at me for not putting my bowl in the right place.”

“You too?” You question.

“It was _hell_ ,” Hyungwon tells you. He glances to Kihyun’s door but carries on talking anyway. “He has some kind of OCD or something. I don’t know. If you act like he’s not mad at you when he is then he’ll usually shut up and go away.”

Fair advice, you think. If you act like he’s not getting under your skin then he might actually shut up. “I’ll take that advice. Thanks Hyungwon.”

The two don’t try to make more conversation with you and instead just idly stand by your door as they wait for Kihyun. You’d have to get Changkyun to do an extensive search of who these two were and what they were like to know whether or not they would be loyal allies over the next year.

Or something more, maybe. Hoseok was cute and Hyungwon was just as attractive. Hoseok may have been more your type. Hyungwon was quite honest though.

You’d work that one out later.

“Are you ready to go?” Kihyun asks.

You look up, alongside Hoseok and Hyungwon. They both nod and aim to follow Kihyun outside but are stopped because Kihyun doesn’t actually bother moving. He just stands there with the same glare on his face like always.

“Clean up whilst I’m gone.”

His words come with a bit of shock for Hyungwon and Hoseok. They look around with disbelief in their eyes that Kihyun can speak with _such_ a sour tone.

You can fight fire with fire though. “Nah, I’m good.”

“I’m not joking, you need to clean up your stuff in the bathroom and kitchen.”

“I’m not joking either. I’m busy.”

“Busy doing what!” Kihyun shouts. “You’re not doing anything! Can you sort out your stuff please before I get home so I don’t have to spend all night cleaning up things? Thank you!”

One day, you’ll kill him. You’ll hide his body in a back alley and if anyone asks he was involved in the gang crimes. That was the only way you’ll survive it. Even if you’re left with Hoseok’s snapchat and a promise of things getting better from Hyungwon, you’re going to have to kill him.

❀❀❀❀

**_to; changkyun_ **

_are you sure it’s him though?_

**_from; changkyun_ **

_of course it’s him, which other kihyun to do you know who would put in a request to change housemates because he doesn’t like them_

**_to; minhyuk_ **

_it is him that’s requested to change rooms. I can’t believe that fucking dickhead. I’ll kill him the next time I see him_

You had threatened Kihyun with the _I’ll change roommates if you don’t shut up_ card many times. But that was the difference, you _threatened_ him. You’d never actually change because it could get him in shit with the student union and could possibly affect his studies (especially if they kicked him out on the streets).

Finding out, however, that he _had_ put in a request to change rooms because he was the ultimate dumbass just put you in a position where you would _actually_ kill him.

**_from; minhyuk_ **

_has it been processed and everything?? are you gonna get kicked out of the room????_

**_to; minhyuk_ **

_they haven’t said anything to me. I’m assuming not but I’m still pissed. I didn’t realise he was that much of an idiot_

**_from; changkyun_ **

_my offer to get jooheon to rough him up a little is still there. Or you can move in with us if you can’t find anywhere to go. You can use my bed_

Changkyun’s offer isn’t one you’ll ever take, you fear leading him on to the point he actually confesses to you and makes you reject him and bruise his ego a little more from all the other girls who thought he wasn’t the _right_ kind of nerd for them. Honestly, you just wanted to stay with Kihyun so you could get through the rest of the year with no problems.

**_to; minhyuk, changkyun_ **

_how bad can I get with revenge?_

You had some ideas. You’d known he’d maybe snitched on you as a terrible roommate last week because Changkyun overheard someone talking about Kihyun and you in the room next to where he was studying. Luckily for you, you’d never had a complaint before, but neither had Kihyun and that put you in an awkward position. You were just as bad as each other but seemed to get on well with the people you’ve lived with before.

For you that was Minhyuk for the past two years. For Kihyun, it was Hyungwon and Hoseok respectively.

As for ideas, you considered putting a wet fish in Kihyun’s mattress until he refused to sleep in there, or making friends with his friends so they hated him like you did right now. Or at least until they got jealous, because that was primarily what you wanted from him.

**_from; changkyun_ **

_don’t do the fish thing. you’ll just get another complaint and he wins_

**_from; minhyuk_ **

_make friends with whichever one of those two boys he is closest with and date him then kihyun has to like you_

Dating Hoseok wasn’t the worst idea you could think of…

Luckily you’d found his Instagram when you couldn’t sleep the other night. He and Hyungwon seemed to both love posting to their own instragram accounts but Hoseok was a bigger fan of the gym selfie where he was covered in sweat and had his hair over his eyes and— _other stuff_. If you think about the pictures of Shin Hoseok, aka _Wonho_ , you might spontaneously combust. It won’t _really_ be spontaneous because it was caused by something but you get the point.

Kihyun’s Instagram, however, was much harder to find. It was hidden in the depths of lost student accounts that were following other accounts, but eventually you were able to find it through a picture he’d taken with Hyungwon around a year ago. They looked like they were in some park and it appeared to be summer time, too, meaning it was likely to be in the summer term of the previous year.

His username was plain, set as _kihyun_ —you’re not actually sure why he didn’t come up in the search results for ‘yoo kihyun’ but it didn’t matter anymore. His Instagram looked more like a photography account rather than a personal account but hey, the pictures of the trees that were most recently posted were pretty cool.

_Yoo Kihyun_

_23, Chemistry student, Photographer_

Kihyun may be a bit more boring than you anticipated.

Scrolling through his pictures doesn’t really help the sense of a monotonous life you’re getting from him, since most of his pictures are of nature or buildings that were from a variety of places. His captions were always the same, a watermark and some words about giving credit to him, with no real captivating comments on what he was taking pictures of. Don’t get me wrong, he could take a decent photo, but it didn’t seem like there was any passion in it.

Not until you got to the pictures of the smallest, _most adorable_ puppy you may have ever seen.

Well, Kihyun is the one holding the puppy with pointed ears (it seems to be a husky cross but you can’t be sure) so the picture, to you, could be better. But it’s cute nonetheless!

And Kihyun doesn’t look _that_ bad.

He’s got black hair and it falls over his face in a gracious manner, the shaved sides adding to the fact he looks quite _hot_ actually. You wouldn’t ever deny that Kihyun was attractive in his own right because he probably could have been a model if he tried hard enough to become one. His features were quite desirable and since he looked good with pink hair, you couldn’t really act like he wouldn’t pull strange styles off like a pro.

There’s more pictures of the same puppy (one you still don’t know the name of people Kihyun doesn’t put anything in his captions) in different places, but eventually you reach the point of Kihyun’s account where he did post more pictures of himself. They’re not direct selfies in that respect, but pictures taken of him by someone else – he had that stated in his caption, the only thing that separated those pictures from the ones before.

Yeah, he is _cute._ Only an idiot would deny that and you most certainly are not an idiot. His face is really nice. That’s about the biggest compliment you can give him without choking on your own words.

**_from; changkyun_ **

_have you decided what you’re doing yet or what??? I’m waiting??_

As you _try_ to close Changkyun’s notification message, you somehow end up liking the picture of Kihyun’s and it makes your heart freeze.

The picture is from almost a year and a half ago. He’s going to know you liked it.

Even if you unlike he’ll still get the notification and he’ll be told you liked his picture and he’ll know you were stalking him and—

All you can do is scream in frustration— _and_ fear—of what the future has to hold when Kihyun works out you’ve liked the picture. He’s probably on his phone now. He knows. You haven’t even _fucking_ unliked the picture yet!

**_from; changkyun_ **

_hello??? are you alive or did he kill you already??_

Somewhere in your worried state you manage to compose yourself enough to press the heart beneath his picture and destroy as much evidence of your idiotic venture onto his Instagram, shutting down the app afterwards and turning back to the one person who could help in this situation.

**_to; changkyun_ **

_Red alert. I liked his picture on Instagram from like a year ago. Help_

**_to; changkyun_ **

_HELP PLEASE HES GOING TO KNOW I WAS STALKING HIM_

**_to; changkyun_ **

_THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DISAPPEAR, HES GOING TO THINK I LIKE HIM OR SOMETHING HELP CHANGKYUN ILL DIE_

**_from; changkyun_ **

_get his phone and delete the notif. That’s the only way_

Genius planning from Changkyun, you think, but you know it’s the only way to make sure Kihyun never, _ever_ finds out about what you’ve done. It sounded like he got in the shower about thirty minutes ago, he _may_ still be in there and you’d have a chance to delete it without him knowing. It’s worth a shot, even if it was a long one.

The only thing working in your advantage was the fact that Kihyun didn’t take him phone into the bathroom with him in fear he may smash it. He may be the only person you’ve ever known not to listen to music in the shower.  

So you quietly, barely _ever_ making a sound as you creep away from your bed, make your way to his room. At least you _try_ to. You don’t get past your door, because as soon as you open it you’re greeted with Kihyun.

A wet, bare chested Kihyun who’s just got a towel around his waist that he’s barely holding together.  

Holy _shit_.

Coming from the fact you’re in a mess because you liked a photo of his face that you admitted to yourself was above average, and now you’re looking at him like he’s a god walking the earth, you’ve got yourself in a very sticky situation. One that will definitely boost Kihyun’s ego no matter what he does.

“Are you okay?” Kihyun asks. His voice seems a little rushed and he shows some concern in his eyes, not that you’re paying his face much attention for the moment. “I heard you scream and I got worried. Did something happen?”

You shake your head as you attempt to keep your eyes above his chest. You can’t help but look and what you can see is the formation of some abdominal muscles and a v line that’s just becoming prominent and… _yikes_. You’re becoming like one of those netizens who stalk idols to see their abs even though that doesn’t matter. Half the idols looked better without them anyway.

But holy shit, _again_ , Kihyun looks amazing. Like that god he thought he was. Like satan that you kept comparing him to.

He’s got water dripping all over his skin that’s such a perfect shade it makes _not_ biting your tongue a near impossible task. His wet hair too. _Ohmygod_. He looks like the epitome of a story character that you fall in love with because of how good he looks. You have to remind yourself that this is the same Yoo Kihyun that you despised of.

And he just asked you a question but you’d not paid enough attention to have a clue what he said.

“Sorry?”

Kihyun frowns a little. He uses his free hand to wipe the water from his eyebrows and push his soaking hair back from his eyes. “You screamed. It sounded like there was a problem.”

“ _Uhm_ …” Your mind has frozen and there’s not many things you can actually say. Did he care enough to check you were okay? Maybe he did. _Weird_. “I’m fine, I— _uh_ —need to leave.”

“Why?”

Kihyun is concerned for you, you _get_ that, but over the events that have just occurred you can’t help but become more defensive than you may have first liked to be. “What is this, twenty questions? Let me leave.”

“Don’t be rude,” Kihyun states. He notices your attempt to leave and makes sure he’s blocking the entire doorway so you can’t actually get out. “I’m just checking you’re okay. Am I not allowed to do that?”

“It’s not like you want to keep me as a roommate anyway, so I don’t know why you care.”

 _Low blow_. Kihyun’s expression softens at your words and his shoulders seem to become less tense. “Fine. Go.”

“ _Fine_.”

You don’t argue with him. In fact, you’re surprised he didn’t have something to say about your accusations—you’re not meant to know he requested to change _anyway_ —but he appears to be sorry. He doesn’t argue. He doesn’t even try to.

Kihyun just lets you push past him and you’re able to make it to the front door before the feeling of his eyes burning into your back becomes too intense. When you do turn around, Kihyun is watching you closely from where you brushed past him but he doesn’t say anything either.

You just leave him with a glare, shutting the front door behind you.

And it’s fair, you think. He’s such as ass to you that he should feel bad for requesting to change rooms for the simplest of problems that _he_ was creating. Hopefully he does see a notification that you liked his picture. Hopefully he feels worse for treating you like shit when all you wanted to do was be friends.

For now you’d have to retreat to Changkyun’s room and let out your frustrations there. Or Minhyuk’s. You could do with that takeout Thai food now.

❀❀❀❀

Kihyun is strangely quiet.

You’ve seen him like this twice before and both times it was because you had pissed him off, but you hadn’t seen him this morning or this afternoon, so it couldn’t have been something you did to him. Instead you think he may be in a bad mood—a _less_ rare occurrence for Yoo Kihyun—so you know it would be best to avoid him.

Staying quiet yourself, you creep past Kihyun and into your room so you can leave your bags in there. You can’t help but feel a bit bad for him. Watching him from the doorway, you notice how he barely even moves and just stares at the TV in such a mechanical manner that it makes you question _is he even alive_?

He is alive. Your question is answered when Kihyun, _master_ of the poker face, let’s his head fall forward and almost chokes out a sob in the most strained voice.

This is it. This is the first time you’ve seen Kihyun crack and it’s not going to be pretty.

Realistically you’re not sure what, or even _if_ , you should try to speak to him and see if he’s okay. This is Kihyun after all. Kihyun was either neutral or angry. Never sad. It’s weird for you to think about him crying, yet alone _see_ him crying directly in front of you.

The thought about going to check if he’s okay _does_ cross your mind. You debate it in your head for a moment but ultimately decide that Kihyun probably doesn’t want you interfering with his business.

Unless it’s important. Then, maybe, you should check if he’s okay.

So you take a step back out of your room and edge closer towards Kihyun, stopping every few inches to make sure that he won’t a, turn around and tell you it was a prank to see if you cared about him, or b, get mad at you for caring about him. He doesn’t move though, he stays still in the frigid position like he’s been forced into it.

“Kihyun?” You say softly.

He does look up to you immediately, face completely innocent. His eyes are teary and he does his best to dry under his eyes when he realises you’re assessing him completely. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?” You ask. It’s simple and you expect him to say _yes, I’m fine,_ but at least you’re _trying._ “I mean, do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” He asks.

You have to resist a sarcastic answer. Maybe Kihyun’s attitude is a way of him coping with things. “You’re crying.”

“I know I am,” Kihyun says. He swallows hard and attempts to dry his eyes completely but it ends up failing. He’s still crying there are tears falling from his eyes as you’re waiting for him to finish. “I bet it’s nice to see me look so weak for once, huh?”

And really, it _is_ , but you won’t tell him that because you’re not a terrible person.

Instead, you crouch down beside him and offer a smile that may seem more sarcastic than you first want it to. “Not really. Seeing you cry makes me want to cry.”

“Why would you want to cry?”

“Because I’m shit when people start crying and I have no idea what to say,” you tell him. It evokes a strange look from him that you’re somewhat appreciative of. “If I start crying then they have no clue what to say and stop crying. It’s an effective solution to crying.”

Kihyun, as internally sad as he may be, laughs. He rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head, but he isn’t crying and that’s the first thing you notice. “That’s stupid.”

“Maybe. But you’re not crying anymore, are you?”

No, he’s not. Kihyun can’t argue back with you because you’re very much _right_ and he’s no longer crying, making things a little easier. Instead he’s just looking down at where you’re crouched before him with tired, but thankful eyes. You believe that somewhere under his attitude and uptight personality is a good person who can show emotion and love to everybody.

There’s something that made him that way. You’re interested to find out but you think it may be a little hard considering he barely ever talks to you. Unless _that_ is the issue. You don’t talk to him enough and it makes him defensive. He doesn’t feel like the two of you will ever be close because really, you know nothing about each other.

“You can talk to me about it, you know. I’m here for you if you need to say anything that is maybe a little too much for Hoseok or Hyungwon.”

Kihyun nods. He looks away from you but you can see the corners of his lips just starting to curl up. “You don’t have to be nice to me now. I’m still satan.”

“Not really. I was being a bit hyperbolic,” you tell him.

“Hyper…what?”

“Hyperbolic,” you repeat, “it’s means overdramatic. My friend does creative writing so I get all the fancy words from him.”

Though his eyebrows are pulled together, Kihyun hums with caution and continues regardless of how clueless he may have been. “Is that the guy you baited me out to?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the guy you’re always complaining to, usually on the phone. The walls are soundproof and I hear you complaining about me a lot.”

 _Ah_. That might have explained why he didn’t like you that much anyway. The secret conversations with Changkyun that you did think were _secret_ , weren’t secret at all. That means Kihyun is likely to have heard you call him a bastard on multiple occasions and your curses to him that really meant nothing. _Yikes_. You probably sounded like a terrible person.

“No, that’s my other friend. But, _uh_ , I’m sorry you had to hear me complaining all the time. I didn’t realise you could hear me. I was overreacting then, too.”

Kihyun shrugs, letting his body become less tense. “It’s okay. I guess it makes up for how much I nag you about things. I’m sorry for that, too. Hyungwon and Hoseok said I was too harsh to you.”

“You could have been worse, I guess.”

“So could you. Hyungwon was messier than you. I just don’t like things being untidy,” Kihyun tells you. He waits for a moment before he sighs and shakes his head. “Okay, that sounds really bad. I’m a perfectionist and I’ve always been the same way. Everyone hates me for it but I like things to be in order, you know. I’m sorry I sound like an asshole.”

“You don’t sound like an asshole.”

“It’s okay, you can just say it.”

You don’t answer immediately. Instead you stand up and move so you’re sitting beside Kihyun and on the exact same level as he is. A week ago you’d be jumping at the opportunity to get angry at Kihyun and call him every name under the sun, but right now you kinda just wanted to… console him. Make sure he was okay.

“You’re a bit of an asshole but that doesn’t concern me,” you answer, settling with a statement that gives him part of what he wanted.

“Only a bit?”

“Yeah. You’re not that bad, you haven’t met some of my friends.”

There’s a glimmer in Kihyun’s eyes. You feel a bit bad because this is the first time you’ve heard him have a proper conversation. He doesn’t call anyone. He doesn’t text people when you see him and the times you’ve seen him in the library he’s on his own. “Who are you friends? I’ve only ever heard them, not seen them.”

“Minhyuk and Changkyun. Minhyuk is the same year as us and he’s the one doing creative writing. Changkyun has just started doing computer science but I’ve know him since high school. He lives in one of the other buildings nearby.”

“Computer science, that’s cool,” Kihyun says. He has that emotionless look on his face again and when you meet his eyes he looks away from you again. “He must be smart. I don’t know why you haven’t used him to kill me yet.”

“Who said I hadn’t?”

Kihyun looks you dead in the eyes and you can only laugh at how fearful he looks. It’s cute, actually. Kihyun is cute. Kihyun is… a lot of things that you don’t want to talk about.

“I’m joking,” you tell him, “you’re the one who’s more likely to kill me. Chemistry students should be feared, especially when they’re doing chemical engineering too. Is that why I’m not allowed in your room? Because you have a poison in there waiting for me?”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t tell you even if I did.”

After the previous occurrence with Kihyun, you’re feelings have changed. Not drastically, of course, but it was easy for you to notice a change in your own actions towards Kihyun because he did show some kind of affection to you.

 _Not_ really affection, but care. You were giving him the same thing back and trying to change the way the two of you acted towards each other. You were giving him the opportunity to talk to you and make him feel better. Even if he didn’t want to tell you why he was crying, he still was given the chance to and that was more than—you assumed—anyone else gave him.

In layman’s terms, Kihyun appeared to be lonely. He had friends but they weren’t friends like what Kihyun and Minhyuk were to you.

“I failed chemistry test,” Kihyun says.

“Oh,” you mumble, looking back to him as he pushes his hair back over his head. “That’s not a problem. It’s just one test.”

Kihyun hums. “It is, I know that. But in my mind it’s the worst thing and it’s the very first test I’ve ever failed. It just got to me, you know.”

He really _is_ a perfectionist.

“Why don’t you try to take your mind off it?”

“How would I do that?”

You have to think for a moment. You know how to distract yourself but Kihyun is different. He may hate everything you do. “What are you hobbies?”

“I like cooking,” Kihyun tells you. He pushes his hair back over his head again and you can just see his roots starting to peek through. His hair is _cute_ , it suits him. “I don’t really have many hobbies. I’m pretty boring.”

“Why don’t you cook then? Make a three course meal. It will take your mind off what happened.”

Kihyun’s eyes brighten. He nods at your plan and stands up quickly, pulling down his shirt so it’s over his jeans and he looks a little less rugged compared to before. “That sounds good. I’ll make us both dinner.”

Or he could do that. You weren’t going to complain with a free dinner but you didn’t expect Kihyun to snap personalities so quickly. He seems eager to do something for you— _to help you_ —that you think at first he might be joking until he starts to walk away and turns back to you with a frown.

“Are you not coming?”

“Coming where?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and cocks his head slightly to the side. “To buy some things with me, for dinner. I don’t know what food you like.”

“You want me to come?” You ask him.

“Of course,” Kihyun says. It seems to hit him a moment later that what he said made him sound attached to you and he stutters to change his words to you. “I mean, I need you there with me to help me pick things. So can you get your coat quickly please?”

❀❀❀❀

“So, you like Kihyun?”

Hoseok’s words take you by surprise. He’s listened to you talk about Kihyun for the past hour or so in the cafe far enough away from where Kihyun would be today so you knew the conversation would be kept quiet.  

Don’t get me wrong, Hoseok was a good listener. He’d picked up on all your point and you were sure he had some kind of supersonic memory that could retain every piece of information under the sun. That, or he was a drama hoe and he loved to listen to relationship problems.

“What?” Your eyes widen and you are quick to your own defense. “No, what? No I don’t like him. I just think he’s nicer that I first thought he was. I don’t like him. Like _like_ him anyway.”

Kihyun made you dinner last week. It _all_ started then.

He was surprisingly nice and a good cook. You’d both talked a lot of things that could have impacted a relationship and your suspicions were confirmed; Kihyun was pretty lonely. He had friends but no one that he was _that_ close with tell things a bit more personal. So, it didn’t actually take him _that_ long to tell you something a little more personal than why he cried.

His name was Yoo Kihyun, he was born in November of 1993 and he was a chemistry student. Nothing you didn’t already know, but it was a start. He moved away from his parents to come and study for a job he never wanted. His parents were pushy and wanted their son to be in a good job by the time he was twenty-five. He hated them for it and most probably would have rather stayed at home and become an artist. Like, a _singer_ artist. He could sing.

Very well at that.

The next morning you’d heard him singing in the shower and _yes_ , his voice was amazing. He hit all the high notes of Jonghyun’s _hyeya_ and by the time he was out of the shower, you’d smiled at him and told him that maybe he should try and audition for a company if he could sing that well. Of course he turned you down to the tune of _my parents would never be pleased with that, are you stupid_ and then came back ten minutes later with an _I’m sorry, I’m still bitter that they didn’t let me audition when I was younger._

The days were going by and the two of you were getting friendly. Not best friends, not even near the friendship mark really. You considered him more as an ally now. Instead of getting annoyed that you didn’t follow his step-by-step instructions on how to keep everything tidy he’d remind you of how to clean things and you’d just get on with it.

Living together seemed to be working out better and better. Especially when you could talk so easily on the couch about things—even about Changkyun’s crush on you that Kihyun found _very_ cute—and not worry about him spreading them around. Maybe it was beneficial to have someone to confide in who wasn’t super close to you and your friends, it meant that secrets weren’t _really_ secrets.

“No, but you’re warming up to him,” Hoseok says. He’s very sure of his words and he doesn’t look a little unsure that he could be, in the slightest, wrong. “Kihyun talked to me about this too, yanno. He told me that you’re not as much as a bitch as he thought you were. He likes you, too. Thinks you can be good friends in the future.”

Well, _thanks for calling me a bitch, Kihyun._ “Of course we can be friends. We’re actually not that different.”

“No, you’re not. I’m glad you’re finally seeing it. Hyungwon agrees, he thinks you and Kihyun are actually too similar to _not_ be friends.”

Should you take it as a compliment that they’re _effectively_ calling you Satan? Oh well. It’s nice enough. Kihyun didn’t take that much offence.

“Fair enough.”

“Did you want me to help with setting you two up then?” Hoseok asks.

You almost choke on your drink. “Setting us up?”

“Yeah, on a date. I think it would be good for you two.”

“ _Uhm_ no. No thanks. I don’t want that.”

Hoseok frowns. He lets out a sigh before reaching forward and placing his hand on your forearm. “ _You_ don’t want a date with Kihyun. _You._ What if it’s not the same the other way around?”

“Kihyun wants a date with me? What?”

“Did I say that?” Hoseok questions. The smirk on his lips is just enough to confirm to you that he had that kind of mindset and he _did_ mean what you said, but he still remains against your question. “I said to consider if the feelings were mutual. You never know what Kihyun’s thinking.”

Would he really want a date with you? _Really_?

Kihyun did lack a show of emotions towards people but you can’t see him being that far in tune with his inner feelings that he knows _already_ that he wants to date you. Absolutely not. He wouldn’t want that _anyway_ because you two were more like business partners than anything else. Awkwardly placed business partners, and you though Kihyun was cute.

Cute at _best_. Nothing more, nothing less.

Even with the lingering suspicion that Kihyun was only being nice to you because you were nice to him, you knew this had to be something you are either a, looking too much into, or b, completely making up. But why would Hoseok lie to you?

He’s friends with Kihyun. He wouldn’t try to set up Kihyun purposefully. Right?

Either way, you decide quite quickly that maybe ending your time with Hoseok is for the best. He’s nice enough but you don’t want to be stuck on the topic of Kihyun for too long because it will end with you getting caught in a flurry of feelings and possibly spilling something you don’t want to. Or that isn’t true.

The latter is more reasonable.

Hoseok offers to walk you back anyway, something you accept because it is a long walk back and you don’t want to do it without someone to talk to. That, and you quite enjoyed the envious stares of people who noticed you were with Hoseok, whom Changkyun had found out was voted as one of the hottest students on campus for the past two years running. For someone loved by everyone around here, Hoseok was definitely one of the most humble people around.

He was very grounded. He told you about how he helped with his mother’s shop on the weekends and whenever else he was free. He was friends with Minhyuk’s roommate, Hyunwoo, which was a complete coincidence, and he was genuinely interested in exercise. He wanted to join the Olympic team for taekwondo when he was younger but suffered with an injury so couldn’t do it.

He was pretty normal.

Which, contrary to your own beliefs that Hoseok was some kind of god with an amazing body and equally amazing personality, didn’t surprise you too much. How you felt towards him was the same as with Changkyun and Minhyuk.

As for Kihyun, that feeling was completely different. Maybe it was because you didn’t like Kihyun all that much and the thought of him being your actual friend did still make your skin crawl—but only a _little_. You were sure as if yet. You’d have to find out at some point from your new love counsellor Hoseok is this explanation to your feelings was correct.

“Do you want me to come inside?” Hoseok asks you as your approach your door.

“You can, I don’t mind,” you tell him, “I don’t know if Kihyun is home yet. I’m sure he won’t mind either.”

Hoseok hums and let’s you open the door, following behind you with caution just in case Kihyun is there. You’re not sure why. Maybe he’s not even cautious because of Kihyun. He has no reason to after all.

But low and behold, you’re greeted by Kihyun’s pink hair in the kitchen, and his warm smile that slowly disappears as you enter the room little by little.

“ _Hey_.”

“Hi, Kihyun,” you answer, trying your best to be nice straight back to him. “Hoseok and I got coffee and he offered to walk me home. How has your day been?”

“Fine.”

A rocket scientist would not be needed to work out that this wasn’t argumentative Kihyun, nor was it friendly Kihyun. He doesn’t even look up from whatever he’s got on the side to answer you. Strange. He probably had a bad day.

So, you ignore him and you focus on something else. “Do you want to stay for anything, Hoseok?”

“Nah, it’s alright. I have to  finish an assignment so I should go. Thanks for meeting though, it was fun. See you around too, Kihyun.”

Something did tell you that Kihyun did _not_ want to see Hoseok though. As soon as he’s out of the door Kihyun’s glaring down at the surface and the first thing you see is a knife in reaching distance of his position. He’s not going to stab you. He’s not going to _stab you._

“Why were you with Hoseok?”

 _He might stab you_.

“He’s my friend. Why were you with him?”

_He really might fucking stab you._

“We just met for coffee,” you tell Kihyun. Aside from the fact he sounded like your jealous boyfriend who didn’t know boundaries (or that you can have as many friends as you _damn well like_ ), there are lacing undertones of melancholy in his voice. “I needed his help with something. Do you have a problem with that?”

Kihyun looks you dead in the eye with clenched fists. His gaze is dark and, if you hadn’t have known him for this long, you would have had to look away from him. “Maybe I do have a problem with it.”

“Why?”

“Because I do,” Kihyun answers, “since when were the two of you friends? You’ve barely ever spoken before and now you’re meeting up _for coffee_ with Hoseok? Do you not want me to have my own friends or something?”

“Sorry? No I—”

“Do you want to date him, is that it?”

Thankfully, your rational side is in gear today and you don’t immediately think of shouting back to Kihyun despite how unreasonable he’s being. “No. I don’t.”

“Well good, because he’d never like you.”

“Okay.”

“Who would _ever_ like you?” Kihyun says. His words hit you with a sting. Somewhere deep down you know he’s mad for whatever reason and he’s throwing out every insult he can because he was an _expert_ at doing that. “Changkyun probably feels sorry for you. Don’t flatter yourself by thinking Hoseok would do the same.”

You can’t help but scoff. “Are you kidding me, Kihyun?”

“Why would I be joking?” Kihyun questions.

“Why are you being such a dick today?” You ask him. Instead of approaching him, you head towards your room and take note of how he’s been cleaning the whole place again. “Look, I wanted to talk to Hoseok about something so I asked him to meet me. I know he’s your friend and I’m not trying to date him. Why are you in my case about it?”

Kihyun doesn’t answer. He stares you down for a few seconds before looking away and focusing on whatever was preoccupying him beforehand. Though you wait for him to say something, he doesn’t actually give you what you want. Instead you’re left without an answer and you have to retreat to your room without another word. Well, there were no words exchanged for a few moments at least.

“What were you even talking about?”

You turn back to Kihyun and yes already looking at you with narrowed eyes. It’s infuriating now. “Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does.”

“Are you my dad?” You ask Kihyun. You try to hide your pissed off tone behind apparent sarcasm. It doesn’t exactly work but it was worth a shot. “Fuck off, Kihyun. I don’t have to report back to you with everything I do. Stop being so dramatic and suck it up.”

You’re not sure if he takes your words to heart. He walks out before you can try to convince him he was being a complete asshole.

❀❀❀❀

Surprisingly, you haven’t seen the face that takes you to the ends of the earth with anger in over four days.

You know he’s staying with Hyungwon and Hoseok because the three of them have been in Hoseok’s snapchat stories ever since he got mad at you and left before. A part of you did worry at first that maybe he had _died_ or something—maybe he had gotten stuck in an elevator and no one went looking for him—but you soon realised you didn’t _actually_ care.

It was nice without Kihyun around. No complaining or nagging or _why are you home so late when I have to be up at eight tomorrow morning? Do you want me to die!?_

You managed to have Minhyuk over and watch a movie without worrying about the consequences of giving your best friend popcorn. Minhyuk was a messy eater, you weren’t ever going to be able to tame that, but it seemed Kihyun believed that _he_ could.

Minhyuk and Changkyun _both_ didn’t like Kihyun; you were thankful of that very fact. It meant that really, when you were arguing with Kihyun when one of them was over you’d have the upper hand because they would rush to your defence (unlike Hoseok and Hyungwon who equally didn’t care about your mutual hate with Kihyun because they both had to live with him at some point, too).

But today, you were alone and you hadn’t bothered to clean at all, which put you in an awkward position, especially when Yoo Kihyun walked back through the door with a look of hatred on his face.

You know he’s going to lose it with you before he even speaks.

Except he doesn’t.

He walks past you, completely ignoring your presence and slams his bedroom door shut as though he’d been forced back here by Hoseok and Hyungwon. That was very likely, since they had Kihyun sponging off of them for the past however long when he had his own place to go to. He didn’t need to be with them, he just couldn’t step up to his own problems and that pissed you—and them—off.

It’s not until about forty minutes later that Kihyun makes an appearance, slowly creeping out of his room with an emotionless look in his face.

But he doesn’t talk to you. He just sits beside you without a word and takes the remote, turning over the channel. Luckily you weren’t watching anything, not that he would have cared much anyway. He must still be in the same bad mood from before and you have no _clue_ as to why this is all going on.

Maybe Kihyun is just an asshole and he’s back to his original self. The true colours from before weren’t true colours _at all_.

“I was going to get some chicken for dinner.”

“Sorry?”

“Chicken,” Kihyun repeats. He lacks any eye contact and is still focused on the TV. “I’m going to get some chicken for dinner. Would you like to get you some too?”

You neglect an immediate answer. You don’t really know if he’s being serious. “Uhm. I guess. Do you want some money for it?”

“It’s okay. It’s on me.”

“Oh. Okay,” you answer. It’s awkward and most definitely tense in the room because Kihyun is acting like he’s completely fine. To a degree. He’s not _really_ normal and you feel like _maybe_ you should try to help. _RIP_. “Have you been okay the past few days, Kihyun?”

He looks over to you with wide eyes, stuttering his reply. Kihyun _doesn’t_ stutter often. “I’ve been okay. Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Did you do anything nice?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

Kihyun’s still awkwardly position and he doesn’t seem open to talk to you like before. For a while, you believe that maybe he’s hiding something from you and you decide that emphasising your point about him being able to tell you anything may help.

“You know, I meant what I said. You can talk to me about anything if you like.”

Kihyun hums. “I know. You told me.”

“Is there anything you want to say, then?” You ask him.

“Not really,” Kihyun says. He looks over to you and sighs afterwards though, his change of heart apparent. “I’m sorry. I should probably say that.”

You raise a brow. “You’re sorry?”

“For what I said about Hoseok. And Changkyun. I didn’t mean it.”

You’ve been taught for a long, _long_ time that if someone says something, they most probably mean it. They have to. There’s a reason they’ve conjured up the words to say to you and it certainly wasn’t as meaningless as he makes it out to be.

But a very small part of you wants to believe Kihyun. If you give him a chance to explain himself—to _talk_ like he so badly wanted to—you might get more out of him. There might be a bigger problem and you could help Kihyun out with it and—

Shutting up now wouldn’t help anything. Stop thinking and talk to him.

“Did something happen?”

Kihyun shakes his head. “Not really. I was just in a bad mood. That’s why I’m apologising, I wanted to get angry and someone and you were the first one I saw.”

“How kind are you, Kihyun,” you joke. He tries to laugh but you know it’s forced. “It’s fine. We all have days where we’re in shit moods. Maybe try to take it out on something other than me though, I thought I had done something wrong.”

“Well, you kind of did.”

“I what?”

Kihyun shrugs. “I was kind of annoyed with you. It’s unreasonable when I think about it but I was annoyed with you and Hoseok.”

He did say that before. He was adamant you were stealing his friends, or _whatever._ You’d blocked that from your mind for the meantime.

“Because we went to get coffee together?”

“No, not really,” Kihyun says. He sighs again and leans back into the couch, letting his head fall back. “Okay, it was that. I guess I was jealous you went out.”

“You know we live together, don’t you Kihyun?”

He rolls his eyes at your words. You know he’s still holding something back. “I’m not an idiot. I meant, I was jealous because it felt like you wanted to spend more time with Hoseok than me. That kinda sucked. I thought we were just starting to be friends.”

So he _was_ being a jealous boyfriend. Except he wasn’t your boyfriend. Not that you were complaining.

If you really did put some thought to it, Kihyun wouldn’t be too bad to date. You weren’t obviously going to think about dating him or even thinking Kihyun as a boyfriend, but hypothetically. He was nice, he may have been bitter but if you could deal with that kind of attitude on a daily basis _already,_ then you could certainly deal with it being the personality of your boyfriend.

But again, hypothetically.

Unless Hoseok wasn’t lying.

_I said to consider if the feelings were mutual. You never know what Kihyun’s thinking_

Kihyun wouldn’t like you. No, he couldn’t. It wouldn’t ever work and the two of you would just argue twenty four seven. To a degree. You both had been fine before you went through this whole issue so maybe it could work. But you don’t want it to work. Nope. No way. Never.

Never was subjective.

“We are friends,” you alert Kihyun. You offer a smile but it’s not returned. “I just had to talk to Hoseok about a problem like I told you before. If I could talk to you about it I would have.”

Kihyun hums at your words but he’s still frowning. He probably didn’t believe you. “Was it about me, then?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“Because you should you couldn’t talk to me about it, and I know I’m closer to you than Hoseok is. Even if we hated each other, I thought we were on good enough terms to at least mention problems we had to one another. Unless I was wrong about that.”

Touché, Kihyun. _Touché_.

“What is this, twenty questions?”

Kihyun kisses his teeth at you and shakes his head. “No, I’m just asking. I don’t know what you were asking Hoseok for when you could go to Changkyun or Minhyuk about the same thing.”

“What if I couldn’t tell them about it?”

“What _wouldn’t_ you tell Changkyun? I heard you guys talking about flavoured condoms before. I’m sure you can talk about anything at this rate.”

Unfortunately he is right. Kihyun knows you better than you imagined and he’s seen straight through you. Now you have to decide whether or not you just out right tell him you met with Hoseok to talk about him or you bluff your way through it all. The latter wasn’t as easy but saved embarrassment. Could you tell him now? Really?

The straight answer was _no._

Instead of  talking you make you way to the kitchen and ignore Kihyun’s presence, much like he had done before, switching on your kettle to boil some water so you could make _the_ strongest cup of coffee known to mankind. That would make things easier. Just breathe. Ignore the fact that Kihyun is lingering on the other side of the room, _trying_ to see if you are okay, and forget the problems just for a moment.

“Is that it? Are you done talking to me?”

 _Fuck it._ You’re gonna have to tell him.

“I was talking about you, Kihyun,” you announce. His eyes widen as he looks at you but he’s frozen in his spot and he doesn’t seem to come any closer to you. “I know you asked to change rooms because of me and I was mad. Then you were starting to be nice and it confused me. I wanted to talk to Hoseok to make sure you were crazy.”

Kihyun still doesn’t change. He looks sad, actually. Like he doesn’t know what to say to you. “That’s all you talked to him about?”

“Well, yeah. What else would I say to him?”

“I don’t know, I was just asking,” Kihyun retorts. He’s sarcastic again, maybe you’ve hit a nerve.

What if Kihyun _did_ talk to Hoseok about you? That lying asshole. Kihyun had said something to him. Hoseok had some explaining to do if he didn’t want to lose his balls; you’d punch his right nut if Kihyun had spoken to him and revealed details about everything.

“Why, did you talk to him about me or something?”

“Yeah, maybe I did.”

You scoff. He’s annoying now. “Did you say that you thought I was annoying? That you wanted me to change rooms because you were jealous I had friends other than you?”

“No, I told him that I thought you were cute and that you were a really nice person that I would want to go on a date with!”

Kihyun realises what he’s said afterwards, and he stutters something before completely shutting up. He can’t take back his words and he can’t try to act like that was a lie. He was a jealous person. He was jealous because he thought _you were a really nice person that he wanted to go on a date with._

And you were cute. Can’t forget that.

It’s about this time that you realise Kihyun has a habit of running. You don’t get to say another word before he’s picked up his phone and is out of the door, not even bothering to close it behind him. What an asshole. What a dickhead.

He accidentally confesses and then leaves you here with nothing to do _or_ say to him!?

Did he not want you to return it? Maybe he was scared of rejection. Oh shit, you just told him you thought he may have been _insane._ There’s no bloody way he’s going to think if you try to say that he’s a, cute, b, nice, and c, you may (very big may) go on a date with him.

Hypothetical dating Kihyun might have been more true than you first thought it was, and you might not have a problem with that.

Might was definitely a key word though. The law of averages suggest that you and Kihyun, in a relationship, is not always going to be the best things.

But principles aren’t always correct, so you can take your chances.

❀❀❀❀

Kihyun’s disappearing acts were starting to get on your tits, to be honest.  
  
It was nothing to do with the fact you were alone every night, and that you were worried to invite over Changkyun or Minhyuk in the fear Kihyun would show up and get mad again. No, you could live on your own for long periods of time if you really wanted to.  
  
It was more the fact that Kihyun had left you with something to think about, and even after two weeks you were still having to think about it rather than telling him exactly what you thought of the situation.  
  
You wanted to speak to Kihyun. You had thought over so many different scenarios that could occur when he came back home but he hasn’t yet. Kihyun hasn’t graced you with his ever loving presence and you’ve been stuck with the fear that maybe he isn’t coming back. He may have gone ahead with that complaint and you’re going to have some weird guy (or girl, whatever) staying with you who might be even messier than you are.  
  
Oh god. You could get stuck with someone who’s the love child of Minhyuk and Changkyun.  
  
Aside from that very real fear, you were worried something may have actually happened now. Hoseok didn’t have him in his snapchat and his instagram hadn’t been updated. When you went to the chemistry buildings he wasn’t in there so you assumed he was MIA. Not for a good reason.  
  
You just wanted to talk to him, and you did kind of miss him even if he was the biggest asshat to live sometimes. He was a cute asshat. One you might date too.  
  
Hoseok was right, your feelings before were not mutual, but now they are.  
  
Do you regret that? Nah.  
  
The main problem of not having Kihyun around is how damn bored you’re getting though. Yes, you could have invited Changkyun and Minhyuk over (but didn’t for the afore mentioned reasons), so you were just alone the whole time and it sucked. Missing him was taking it’s toll on you now.  
  
Your solution so far had been to sit at the park a few minutes walk from where you lived. It meant you were surrounded by people and you could listen to their conversations, and possibly see Kihyun if he was going to make his return to you. No sign of him yet, of course.  
  
It’s the morning of the fifteenth day without Kihyun that you finally get a glimpse of him, and it’s when you’re about to leave for your daily session in the park that you’re met with a messy haired, dark eyed Kihyun.  
  
“Oh. Hey.”  
  
Your words are dragged out a little, only because you’re stuck observing his face and taking in how good he looks; disheveled was a look that suited Kihyun well. As much as you wanted to hope he was sleeping well the past two weeks, his face told you the opposite and it made you feel no less than bad.  
  
His dark eyes were accompanied by pale, dewy skin and a face that looked like it had been unshaven for a day or two. Not stubble or anything, but just the small shadow that made his skin a little darker there. Also, his lips were bitten. You could tell because they were particularly pink with some red patches.  
  
Not that you want to focus on his lips or anything. You’re trying to avoid that, actually, but he’s not speaking so you basically have no other choice but to look right at his lips and Kihyun must have realised where you’re looking.  
  
“Are you okay?” you ask him.  
  
“Okay?” Kihyun repeats. He sounds rather distressed. You could question him but he continues. “No, I’m not okay. There’s something I should have done but I haven’t done it yet.”  
  
You try to pry into his words. Looking at him now there’s something that you want to do, too. “What is it?”  
  
But this time he doesn’t give you any verbal answer.  
  
Usually you’d be pissed. Kihyun hated giving you answers to questions because that meant you had information you could use against him. You’d start fighting and calling him names because he was back to his usual self. You can’t do that; it’s his faded cologne you’ve been admiring the past however long that suffocates you first of all.  
  
His lips? They didn’t just look kissable. They are kissable and even someone who’s never been kissed would be able to tell that Kihyun, though he possesses the bitterness of freshly picked lemons, can be as soft as vicuna fabrics.  
  
It takes barely a moment to be infatuated with his touch. With all his touches, to be precise. Kihyun’s kissing you but he has one hand on the back of your neck and another somewhere else on your back. Not that you can tell, you’re far too lost in his kiss to pay attention to anything but Kihyun and what he’s going to do next.  
  
You must have been there for minutes. Time seems frozen just until he pulls back from you hesitantly and you’re left with the taste of his chewing gum on your lips. Black mint, you could taste it. You have to preoccupy your mind before you can even say anything to him.  
  
“Is that what you wanted to do?”  
  
Kihyun nods. It’s not as shy as before. He takes a deep breath before he speaks. “I should have done that before I left before. Sorry.”  
  
“Why are you always apologising to me?” you question. You’re stuck in a mode where you don’t know what you’re supposed to say to him because no book, TV show or movie could have prepared you for such a cliche moment. “Kihyun, stop apologising to me and come inside.”  
  
He does follow you inside, albeit that he is more pulled inside by you so you can shut the door behind him and match his actions. You push him back against the door, your own fingers in the loose ends of his hair so you can bring him down to your level and kiss him again.  
  
The one question running through your mind is why haven’t you done this before?  
  
It’s such a rush of emotions that time is skipping. One moment you’re kissing Kihyun against the door and his hands are on your waist, the next you’re in his bedroom and you’re straddling his thighs as he’s sitting on the edge of his bed. You can’t get enough of him. Every time he moves you’re grasping at him to come back to you and show you more.  
  
Of him; of what he can; of anything.  
  
It’s about the point where Kihyun’s hands, although becoming a little stiff as he touches you, that you realise something. He’s going to take this further than just kissing, or whatever this is. His fingertips are drifting above the hem if your top, and as much as you’re sure the white jumper he’s wearing would look just as good off of his body, there’s a thought in the back of your mind that won’t subside.  
  
“Wait, Kihyun.”  
  
Much to your surprise, Kihyun stops what he’s doing immediately. He keeps a hand on your waist and another on the back of your neck but still pulls away from you so he can see all of your face. Bless him, he almost looks as nervous as a deer in front of headlights.  
  
“I haven't…” You stop yourself from finishing your sentence and swallow hard, looking down from Kihyun’s eyes. He has a softer stare than you first thought but it doesn’t mean you can face it. “I’m still… I haven’t had sex before.”  
  
Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t?”  
  
You can only shake your head as you feel his grip on you loosen. You didn’t have to tell him and you’re sure he’s realised that, too. There was no requirement for you to stop Kihyun from what he was doing but you felt like you had to. Because, really, you didn’t hate him that much. Nothing like that.  
  
“I thought you should know. Sorry.”  
  
“No, don’t be sorry,” Kihyun says softly. He leans back from you but is still watching you like a hawk. “I guess I should be honest with you, too.”  
  
You frown at his words.  
  
“I haven’t done anything, either.”  
  
“You what?”  
  
“I haven’t done anything with anyone else,” Kihyun tells you. He’s quiet with his words but you’re sure it’s so he can reach a softer, more gentle tone with you and make you feel more at ease. “Don’t… uh… Did you want to, maybe, carry on?”  
  
The answer can be subjective. You’re not sure what Kihyun wants to do because he’s got another poker face and you can’t even try to read his body language. “Do you?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter what I want. We don’t have to.”  
  
“I… I don’t know.” Your words are laced with hesitation and you’re sure Kihyun picks up on it. He knows what you’re going to say before you do. He’s smart like that. “I don’t want to have meaningless sex with you just because you kissed me, Kihyun.”  
  
He hums, running his tongue over his lip before he speaks. You had even realised that you’d bitten his lip a little. Did he do the same to you? Your fingertips touch your bottom lip for any evidence. “Meaningless? That’s subjective.”  
  
“Okay well, it’s not meaningless. I meant that… shit, now I feel bad. Impromptu sex isn’t a great way to lose your virginity, is it?”  
  
“I suppose not,” Kihyun answers, “we should at least be dating first, right?”  
  
You’re ignoring the fact you’re sat across Kihyun’s thighs and he’s holding you loosely there. You know he’s touching you but it almost feels natural. “Dating? You’ll be my boyfriend before I have sex with you, thank you very much.”  
  
“So there’s a chance in the future that you’d be my girlfriend?” Kihyun asks.  
  
You can’t help at cringe because it is so cliche and usually, you’d be hitting the fan at scenes like this in movies. So would Kihyun, funnily enough. He hated stuff like this to but he’s accepting it and he’s smoothing his thumb ever so softly over your skin, so much so that it’s sending you into a trance.  
  
Kihyun’s girlfriend. It was a title you may have grown used to. One you never would have expected when you walked into the room at the start of term and found out you had _Yoo Kihyun, 23, Local Asshole_ as a roommate. Being his girlfriend could be… nice.  
  
He’s nervous as he waits for you to answer him, that’s something you can’t help but notice as you look down to him and let a soft smile curve over your lips. You can wait a few moments and scare him a little, that’s what he’s done with you the past few weeks.  
  
But you both got happy endings from the fear you gave each other, so you’d let it rest as water under the bridge.  
  
“If you try hard enough, Kihyun.”

❀❀❀❀

It’s sometime on a Sunday morning when you’re _rudely_ awakened by someone banging on the door. You’d be having a dream about Baekhyun from EXO and as far as you remembered, it was a good dream that you’d _liked_ to have replayed a thousand times over in your head.

“Can you get it?” _Oh,_ you’re not alone now. You completely forgot that in your post-Baekhyun daze. “Please?”

You’re used to the feeling of arms around you after a while but when you immediately wake up and there’s someone holding you back against their chest, it honestly creeps you the fuck out. It’s about zero point four seconds later that you realise that it’s Yoo Kihyun’s arms and you chill out. Just a bit though. In your mind has still asshat #1 who was also called Satan on the occasion.

“Why do I have to get it?” You ask. It comes out more as a groan and you try to bury yourself into the pillow but Kihyun, pulling the most dick move _ever_ , holds you still.

“Because I’m tired,” Kihyun says, “and you’re more friendly in the mornings. You know that. You deal with me in the mornings and it’s not pretty.”

Kihyun is right. You hate him for it. “You’re right, and I’m thinking of giving up on dealing with you now.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me!”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, Yoo Kihyun.”

Even though you’re pissed he’s making you get up, you do it anyway and trudge against the floor extra loud to make sure Kihyun gets your point. You’re not happy he made you get up because _you_ always got up before him and did stuff for him.

Unless it was making breakfast because Kihyun actually enjoyed that. He also insisted you weren’t a good cook.

That wasn’t on your mind right now though, it’s mostly blank with a view sticking images of Kihyun’s mostly attractive morning face, except for the fact he barely opened his eyes and looked like he was angry at you. So you’re able to open to door with the slightest of smiles, only to be faced by the rather broad chest of Hoseok.

He’s smiling, too, but he’s far too lively for a Sunday morning. It’s got to be like seven am, too. You’d have to start on him another time. “Hey, (y/n)! How are you?”

“Tired,” you answer, “anything you’d like, Hoseok?”

“Well I did come here to check if you and Kihyun were actually _alive_ ,” Hoseok says.

He’s traded his smile for a smirk, and if you weren’t so quick to notice facial expressions then you may have missed it. Hoseok very much knows the two of you are fine. He’s here for something else.

“We’re fine.”

Kihyun appears _not_ to have noticed the change in Hoseok’s expression and falls into his trap. You’d roll your eyes at him later. When did he even get here? You’d never even noticed him creeping up behind you but you’re very aware of his arm around your shoulder which practically lights Hoseok’s eyes up.

“We?” He questions. He looks between you, Kihyun, and the arm he’s got around you before continuing. “As in you two, together? Is it real?”

You’re questioning Hoseok’s words. He can’t be serious. He came here for _this._ “What do you mean?”

“I mean, did Kihyun get the stick out of his ask and fess up?”

“Shut up!” Kihyun growls, attempting to whack Hoseok on the shoulder at his poorly timed comment but narrowly missing due to his slower reflexes. “Watch your mouth, you don’t know what I’ve said yet.”

“You already told me that you were telling Hoseok I was cute and nice and dateable. What’s the problem here, Kihyun?”

Kihyun gives you the same look of death that he gave Hoseok moments earlier. Hoseok, however, is much less tense and won’t take Kihyun seriously. It’s early morning. Kihyun was a bitch. “So you did confess?”

“So you knew about it?” Hoseok shuts up at that. “When you told me Kihyun didn’t want a date with me, he did actually want one?”

“You were talking about a relationship between us that day?”

Hoseok, rather unfortunately for him, is stuck between you and Kihyun in an argument he will never win. He knows it, he’s dealt with Kihyun before and now he’s on _your_ side it will be a thousand times worse. Not to mention you could have avoided that almost three week period where you and Kihyun fell silent if Hoseok just said something less hypothetically.

Implying something never works well with anything.

“The important thing here is whether or not the two of you are together,” Hoseok says. He hums to himself as he takes in your full image once again. “And you seem to be. So does it matter what I did in the end?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You nod along with Kihyun’s words. “What did you do, Hoseok?”

“I told Kihyun I would set you two up!” Hoseok says, his tone joyful compared to how dull both you and Kihyun sound. He’s almost celebrating the moment in front of you, all he needed was some champagne and a party popper and it would be the real deal. “Look where we are now? See, I work wonders when I want to. You both should be thanking me!”

“Kihyun didn’t talk to me for two weeks.”

Hoseok seems adamant he’s to blame for you to admiring that you liked each other. He frowns at your accusation and shakes his head as if that never actually happened.  “Your point?”

“Well, _uh_ , we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks!” Kihyun exclaims.

“That was my plan,” Hoseok tells you. He’s back to his original smile and you know Kihyun wants to have him killed right now.

“And you came here at seven thirty to tell me this?” Kihyun questions.

That arm around your shoulders is long gone and instead he’s ready to pounce on Hoseok for the interruption. You understand though, you’d rather have been laying in bed dreaming about Byun Baekhyun.

And of course so you could be with Kihyun. That was a given. He’s really warm and he makes you feel safe and secure so that’s all you could hope for. Plus he breathes quite loudly and it’s nice to fall asleep to his breathing.

“I came here at seven thirty to make sure you hadn’t murdered each other and my plan actually worked!” Hoseok corrects. He takes a step away from your door and shrugs. “But you’re fine, so I’ll let you two go back to whatever you were doing and I’ll celebrate another successful relationship later. See you guys!”

It’s a Sunday morning. You don’t need this.

What you do need is Kihyun grasping for your hand and pulling you back in the direction of his bedroom, mumbling something about planning Hoseok’s death when he wakes back up. It’s cute really.

Cute comes in the form of Kihyun pulling you back onto the bed with him and falling asleep in record time, with his head just resting on your shoulder and his arm slung over your chest.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you like this!! if you’d like to read more similar to this, then check out my florist au for kihyun - jewel in the crown ♡ this was actually for @vonseok on Tumblr; she gave me the idea to start with so she deserves some credit~


End file.
